Here we are, back in Minnesota's gray chill, settling once again into the rhythm of chemo cycles. During our cruise, we soaked up every ray of sunshine, every degree of warmth, and every moment of normalcy we could gather. It was the perfect way to recapture joy in the midst of maintenance chemo. There were learning curves for all of us, especially for Phillip's family, during buffet breakfasts, when Phillip needed to ease into the day at his own pace. He captured it perfectl

We had our virtual appoint with Dr. Thiels from the Mayo on January 8th. This was a much anticipated appointment - would this be path toward a No Evidence of Disease (NED) life for Phillip? Would our anxiety (ok, my anxiety), be put to ease because science and expertise are in front of us? My Type A personality could not prepare for this appointment because I had no idea what direction the meeting would go. It became clear as Dr. Thiels began talking that surgery was off the

The last maintenance cycle deviated from our expectations, instead bringing extreme fatigue and nausea. These unforeseen symptoms during "easy" chemo highlighted the unpredictability of a cancer journey, reminding us that assumptions should never be made. Over the past two weeks, I know I was particularly annoying to Phillip by repeatedly asking, "How are you feeling?" and "Do you need anything?" As a caregiver, there's a feeling of helplessness when the person you love and c

Phillip had his scan on Friday, December 5th and the results were posted the same day - thank goodness we did not have to go into the waiting game over the weekend. While I am trying not to analyze every word or "finding" on the radiologist's report, this scan came back indicating everything is stable . (As a side note, there's a notable gap in patient care, particularly in reviewing and comparing imaging over time. However, I'll save that discussion for the next person who b

This past Monday marked Phillip's 12th round of chemo. The arsenal of medications that his body has tolerated the past six months has been intense, but he still has been persevering through it all. We walked into Monday's appointment seeing a glimmer of light at the end of this hellish tunnel knowing "maintenance mode" would kick off at round #13. However, any positivity we carried was quickly diminished when we learned Phillip's hemoglobin was again at a critical level (6.8)

This week, Phillip underwent chemo #11 of 12. It's incredible to think that it's been over 22 weeks of this new chapter in life. We continue with our routine, some days feel like a haze or an alternate reality, while others are filled with beautiful moments of joy. As Andrea Gibson aptly put it, "I have lived so much longer in the last six months." Phillip had an extra week in between chemo #10 and #11 to go deer hunting. This was a welcome break for his body to heal after hi

The last few days have been surprisingly eventful. As I noted last post, Phillip's hemoglobin levels have been consistently low over the past few cycles. This past Thursday, Phillip went in for another blood transfusion to "top him off" since his hemoglobin was 6.2 at the clinic last Monday. We started the weekend with Halloween celebrations, and Lenie wore her "Cute Alien" costume. As any Minnesotan parent knows, Halloween wouldn't be complete without the expected fight to g

Here we are again in the midst of a chemo week, # 10 to be exact. The adrenaline, anxiety, and anticipation that once surrounded these weeks have started to fade, and are now replaced by the weight of exhaustion, irritation, and the slow grind of endurance. The Monday appointment at the clinic was with a physicians assistant we had not seen previously, and as she walked into the exam room I quietly thought, "Oh shit." Nothing against her, but the pep, perma-smile and invasio

The much-anticipated CT scan happened last Friday, October 10th. The days leading up to it were filled with hope, anxiety, fear, and every other emotion that gets jumbled into what those of us in the cancer community call "scanxiety." I'm sure Allina's MyChart website saw a significant spike in traffic that day as I compulsively refreshed the page, waiting for results to post. Finally, my impatience got the best of me. By Friday afternoon, I decided to tap into a connection—a

Is this chemo #6 or #7? Phillip and I can't keep it straight anymore as it is still this blurry whirlwind. While it feels we have...

As the weather shifts and seasons change, its been a subtle reminder of our reality. Time continues on and yet here we are in this...

Something I do not think we were prepared for on this journey has been the rollercoaster of highs and lows that come with cancer and its...

The past two weeks have been some of Phillip’s hardest yet. However, still riding the effects of post-infusion steroids, he managed to...

We headed to MN Oncology this morning for chemo round #4. These car rides bring anxiety for both of us but we did our best to chit chat...

This past week was one of the hardest since the diagnosis. After leaving the Mayo on the 10th our sights set on a hepatic artery infusion...

All around this was a BIG week in our household. Lenie left for sleepover camp at Camp Ihduhapi for FIVE days on Sunday. Because she was...

Phillip's chemo was originally scheduled for last Monday, June 16th, but due to his low platelet counts his infusions were postponed...

As I write this, we’re driving home from a weeklong camping trip that Phillip had planned months ago. As some of you know, Phillip has a...

It’s been a whirlwind of appointments over the past few days: Chemo Education Day, a PET scan, and the first round of chemotherapy. I’m...

Today, Phillip had his PET scan and port "installation" scheduled. As we were scrambling to rush out the door, Abbott called to let us...