The Cancer Coaster

Something I do not think we were prepared for on this journey has been the rollercoaster of highs and lows that come with cancer and its treatment. I left for my Euro Girls Trip just one day after Chemo #5, fully expecting to return to find Phillip in a tough spot, likely with only one or two "golden days" before the next round.

Much to my surprise, Phillip has done GREAT this past week. This past weekend, he told me he feels the best he has in six months. This is science working its magic. It's wild. His bloodwork from Chemo #5 also aligns with how he is feeling, nearly every CBC test was within normal range and his CEA has dropped to FOUR! (Normal is 0-3).

While I was on my Euro Girls Trip, Lenie was living her best life camping in the Black Hills with Phillip's parents. Phillip had lots of quiet time, until I would call around noon CST, (post-dinner and wine-buzzed on my end) to excitedly fill him in on our escapades. I was hesitant to take the trip, but in the end, it turned out to be a much-needed escape from reality.

This past weekend, we went on our annual trip to Peter's Resort with Phillip's immediate family, a summer tradition we've kept for the past seven years. With Phillip feeling so well, cancer didn’t steal a single magical moment. It felt like a true return to something normal. And I can’t forget to mention the snacking. Phillip was in the kitchen nonstop, whether he was whipping up jalapeño poppers or crafting a cheese plate, the snacks flowed all weekend long. It was so good to see him not only feeling great but fully enjoying himself.

Today was Chemo #6 and I think we have become so desensitized to the five-hour infusion that its starting to feel almost routine, like just another item on the calendar. The highlight of the morning was learning Phillip has gained eight pounds since his last treatment. So much of my fear has been rooted in watching him seem to shrink before my eyes, each pound lost feeling like something precious slipping away. Seeing that number go up feels like tangible proof of progress, and it gives me more hope.

We also learned that Phillip’s hemoglobin levels have dropped more than expected, which led to some additional bloodwork. We’re now in that familiar waiting space and should have more information in the next couple of days. Phillip, in his calm and steady way, has told me not to worry, and not to Google anything. I’m trying to follow his lead.

Now that Phillip's nausea is managed, I have started looking forward to our post-chemo lunches. After each treatment, I find myself waiting in anticipation to hear what he's craving as we walk out of the clinic. It's become a little ritual I genuinely cherish. Today's lunch was Coconut Thai. He really likes to keep me on my toes.

Thank you all for the continued thoughts and prayers over the last few months. It feels that we have truly turned a corner and we are not looking back.

On a final note, this has been a heartbreaking day in Minnesota. I’m hugging Lenie even tighter tonight. The news about the Annunciation shooting makes me feel physically ill. After being in the grips of our own grief these past few months, my heart aches deeply for all those impacted. Sending "thoughts and prayers" will never be enough and I hope this can be a catalyst for real change.