Now What?

Phillip was discharged on Friday afternoon. His oncologist ultimately confirmed the "blood clot" was actually a "tumor thrombus" and blood thinners were no longer needed. If we hadn't reminded the nurses station that we could leave, they never would have put in the discharge order (my project management brain is spinning with the inefficiencies that happened over the past 5 days).

We had a low key Friday night, and soaked up the "normalcy" in "Friday Family Fun Night."

We gently told Lenie that Daddy is sick and that he may have more doctor appointments and be more tired in the days ahead. We told her that means she gets to be Nurse Lenie and help take care of Daddy. I let her pick out a nurse outfit on Amazon and she decided on this wartime nurse outfit. She will make a very cute Normandy nurse. Stay tuned for more pictures.

Lenie is asking everyday when her nurse outfit arrives and she is very excited to help take care of her Daddy.

Ironically, my parents' friends started a non-profit to assist families during the cancer journey. Check out Angel Foundation and all of the wonderful things they are doing for families battling cancer: https://mnangel.org/

We have ordered an "Angel Pack" which will help us talk more about cancer with Lenie.

We're navigating this situation moment by moment. The magnitude of what we're facing has been overwhelming to process. Through it all, Phillip maintains an incredibly optimistic perspective and continues to reassure me: "Butt cancer will not kill me!" He also continues to remind me that if I look at the big picture, it will be more than I can handle. We need to think of this as an Ironman, and we are still only in the swim. There is so much more in front of us.

I have been doing my best to muster through each day. When I am alone or get lost in my own thoughts, I find myself in a sad place. I have decided to start each day with intention. Whether it's being LOUD at the hospital about the care, creating a nutrition plan, or creating this website, I wake up each day with a goal to meet.

Candidly, the first few days I was stealing some of our dog, Rory's, trazedone to calm myself enough to sleep at night. I have since had a mini-intervention with myself and spoke with a doctor and have medication to help me. As a family, we are fully aware that our mental health is just as important as our physical. We will be consulting with therapists for all of us so that we can be as mentally strong as possible.

We acknowledge this news has not only been hard on us. All of you love Phillip (who couldn't?). We are so appreciative of all the love, support, prayers and positive energy that has been put into the universe. Trust me when I say, we feel it. I am sure there is a sense of helplessness - what can you do? At this time, we are navigating on normalcy, until we aren't. As I write this, Phillip is at a friend's house watching the Timberwolves game. He is chaperoning Lenie's school field trip next week. We are camping in June.

If you feel like you need to help right now, please know we are okay. We plan to lean on all of you in the days, weeks and months ahead because we know we cannot do this without our family and community. In the meantime, hug your loved ones a little tighter. Put down the phones. Set boundaries with work. Because it can all change in a moment.