As Good As It Gets

I am timid to share how well Phillip has been feeling in fear that our rollercoaster high could suddenly plummet. But here I go so - knock on wood. Lately, it seems we've found the secret portal that transports us back to a life prior to May 12, 2025. There has been a new rhythm to it all, which includes so many smiles, laughter, and maybe an occasional argument while hangry.

After the June debacle in the ICU I couldn't help but be anxious for our Amsterdam trip, since ruptured varices happen without warning. I am happy to report there were no issues on our trip and Phillip said he "felt so good, he didn't even feel sick." It was amazing to be present for a "healthy feeling" Phillip again. Perhaps it was luck or coincidence, but I think there is something to be said for the freshness of foods abroad. Take out the preservatives, red dye #3, pop-tarts, and Celsius drinks and you have a Phillip drinking fresh espresso and bakery croissants.

Since the start of our cancer journey, I've tried to approach social media cautiously as a heart can break more when watching so many joyful moments of others untouched by fate's cruelty. But with Phillip feeling so well, this trip felt like we were back in the world of the untouched.

And if we were going to feel normal again, we decided to do it right and spoiled ourselves on this trip and knew we deserved Delta One, a houseboat, and every delicious meal.

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This trip was Lenie's 8th birthday present and we chose Amsterdam because her favorite F1 driver, Max Verstappen, would be racing on his home course in Zandvoort. We spent the first few days of our trip in Amsterdam, exploring the Nemo Science Museum, Albert Cuyp Market, and Artis Zoo. The second half of the trip included staying in the seaside town of Zandvoort.

Phillip and Lenie have enjoyed watching F1 races together for the last year and a half and we knew this trip would be a core memory for all of us. For the race weekend in Zandvoort we stayed at a seaside cottage and enjoyed a calmer pace than the bustle of the city center. Everywhere we looked we saw checkered flags and race swag. The energy of race weekend was felt on every street.

For the race, Lenie was decked out in her Max Verstappen gear. We treated ourselves to grandstand seats at the start/finish line with pit views. Lenie was ready to watch Max race!

The speed of formula one cars is remarkable and TV does not capture how quickly they are synchronously moving through the course. Despite Lenie's cheering for Max, as luck would have it, on the first lap of the race, he overcorrected and ended up hitting the wall, causing significant damage to his car. Max was out on the first lap. This unfortunate event caused rolling tears for our sweet Lenie. Phillip and I were in disbelief this was happening, but we encouraged Lenie to watch her #2 driver and this seemed to do the trick to put those tears at bay.

The entire weekend at Zandvoort Circuit was as good as it gets. We all forgot about cancer and had the best time. I couldn't help but keep thinking, how lucky are we?

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Since the beginning of this journey it's been very clear that Phillip is not letting cancer steal any of life's moments. This trip was a great reminder that a cancer diagnosis does not live in the spotlight everyday and we still get to write fate. Amsterdam was a trip that felt like fate hadn't touched us, but in the back of our minds, every moment was more beautiful because we know the fragility of it all.